One thing that helped me with, for example, saying "No!" in the instant that the "No!" is needed rather than, for example, an hour later, or a day later when it only serves to beat myself up, is to change my self image.
In my new self image - which I still use to this very instant - is that I carry around an energetic Sword of Clarity with me. I am the Sword of Clarity. You don't get me without my Sword. End of story.
The Sword of Clarity is one of a Possibility Manager's 13 tools.
About half the time my Sword of Clarity rests at my left side slid into my belt, parallel to the ground like a Japanese Samurai sword.
However, more often than I ever imagined I carry my Sword of Clarity in my right hand, ready for action at all times. It is a natural part of being present. It sharpens my attention. It focuses my action energy of anger.
With my Sword out it is easy to make distinctions, this or that, now or later or never, yes or no, me or you or the other person or no one, stop or go, all these moment to moment decisions, I make with little movements of the sword. Clear. Simple. Efficient.
With my sword drawn I can ongoingly distinguish as an experience if the offer being made to me is fair or unfair, if I can be adult, or if it is necessary to use Completion Loops, my Disk of Nothing, my Possibility Paintbrush, my Declaration Wand, or any of a large number of other Possibility Management tools and distinctions to navigate the situation into greater clarity and possibility.
If I hold my Sword out, the world in front of me conforms to my sword. I have become visible, an active player in life.
I can even hold out more than one sword with multiple energetic arms at the same time, like the Hindu gods. No problemo.
See if you can experiment with your sword. You might come to love your sword as much as I love mine.